So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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