We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
