I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
