I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
