Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize