and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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