So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
