capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
