so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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