so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
