just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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