So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
