at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize