i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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