Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize