his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
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