She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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