Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize