writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
