apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
