What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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