One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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