He is an equal opportunity slut.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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