I wish life had little blips of pornography
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
it's like iHOP with fire
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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