I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
