i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
