Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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