Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
