I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
