So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
