My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize