I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
