Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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