is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize