people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
