i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
