guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize