it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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