I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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