I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
