She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
