on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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