I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
