So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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