I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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