It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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