It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
