STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
