hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
false alarm, still single
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
