Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
