You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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