so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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