was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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