I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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