i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
