I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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