i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
