are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
