Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
we made out on top of his cat.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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