the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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