I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
