More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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